One more first...

I have been melancholy and it occurs to me that it may be more than some monthly hormonal fluctuation. More than the subtle changing of the leaves, fewer daylight hours, and the strange warm dry air we've been experiencing. It's November, the election season.

Mike liked the whole voting process. In a way it was his last job. Something he could do regardless of his level of disability. He would get a special audio format of all the state published election materials. And once he had reviewed that materials he would tell me what to mark on his sample ballot. Since our first year together, we had always read and discussed the propositions together. Our beliefs were similar, but we didn't always agree. It was still nice to debate the issues, working to see both sides without confrontation.

This year I received one election booklet and a single sample ballot. I was surprised how up to date the election committee was. It has been 4 months and 2 weeks since Mike's death and I still get Medicare mailings, billing notifications, an odd sales call, an invitation the the ALS ask the Experts conference, and other random things for Mike in the mail. However, the California State Election Board was on it - they knew Mike was gone.

Mike liked going to the polls to cast his vote. We would check in with the volunteer get our ballots. Then we would sit at a table and I would fill out Mike's ballot.  Using his sample ballot as reference, I would quietly call out as I filled in each bubble - yes on prop x, no on prop y, etc... Mike's ballot went back into its folder and onto his lap while I completed mine. Then I'd drive his wheelchair to the ballot box - insert his ballot and put his "I voted" sticker on his sweater.  

So, on this election day I realized not only would I be going without Mike, Mike was gone and would never vote again.  I hoped I wouldn't cry while voting - though I did have moist eyes as I walked through the polling place door.

That night I sat and watched the election coverage as the results came in. I waited until the President gave his acceptance speech - my voting day was complete. One more first under my belt.